Inspired by a brief conversation about New Balance’s running shoe naming conventions with my Runner’s World coworkers (wherein they decided it was possible to have bad running shoe names that weren’t just semi-random numbers), I have decided to compile a list of potential bad running shoe names.
1. K-Swiss Kwicky Blade Light (This shoe name exists, and is the basis of my contention that no name, no matter how terrible, cannot end up as a legitimate running shoe name, freely printed on boxes that are supposed to be sold as real products to real consumers, real consumers who will have to go into real stores and really say out-loud “I would like to see the Kwicky Blade Lights, please. Also, it sounds like a Chinese knock-off Lightsaber.)
2. Altra Zero Drop: The Wall
3. Nike 5:40s (Based on my “marathon” Nikes – the 2:40s. 5:40s would be only available in purple.)
4. Based on all the shoes named after racing/training words – Adidas Tempos, Brooks PureCadence, Saucony Grid FastTwitch- I offer to you, the Reebok SideStitch
5. Vibram Five Fingers